I ADD A BRICK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ By LeatherMenace 09-18-04 To the wall made decades thick with disillusioned bricks formed by betrayals of trust. Today I add a brick. It walls me into the safety of seclusion, but denies me the light of kindness that humanity must surely still have to offer me, and yet, I add a brick. Still smarting from the sudden slap to the face of my reality, I try to brush away the memories of adding each brick to my own prison, and still I add a brick. The images of a lifetime of boundaries broken, so thick before my eyes, that even the darkness cannot hide them. Frantically I add a brick. I wonder why I ventured out, or let somebody in. Chastising myself all the while I add a brick. Although I’m not the guilty one, and you walk off scot-free, and though I’m the one it hurts, even so I add a brick. This prison of seclusion some say makes me sick, so I try to work these feelings out in hopes of some sanity. Even so I add a brick I’ll shine a light for you on the shadows of my mind, and show you how a broken trust can be the reason that I add a brick My hope is that you’ll see the brick exactly as it is. A piece of a wall that you’ve helped build, together you and I add a brick. When parents teach their children, that their bodies have no right, to be left unmolested children learn to hide themselves. That’s why I add a brick. I spotlight a certain brick for you. I’m Ten and setting a table. My Step Dad sneaks his wandering hand into my underwear. We both have to look away as I add a brick. A part of me is left behind, wounded, scared unable to move, While Step Dad has his way, you watch me shut the image from my mind as I add a brick. On Monday I told you “Hey! That’s my butt!” But still you reached again. I turned back into that ten year old. Still shaken nearly a full week later. Today I add a brick. I push you from my dark safe world, where such things are not allowed. I remind myself as I shut you out, that people can’t be trusted and I add a brick. I’ll settle into my self-imposed prison, and let the rage subside. Finally I’m able to feel safe at home. I’m numb to the world outside. Almost as if I’m in a trance I add a brick.